Sunday, May 26, 2013

A Letter Home - 5/26/2013

Every few weeks I write a letter to my father. I never actually send these letter to him, they are more for me. It's my therapy, my way of forgiving my father and through these letters I am slowly healing. It has been the hardest writing assignment of all, forcing myself to write not just a happy letter but a letter in general when I would rather lash out on paper. Still it has helped me find compassion, patience, even understanding towards a man I hated for years.

In my last letter home I told everyone about me actually sending my father a "thinking of you" card. Well a few days ago my middle sister sent me a text saying our father had in return sent me a card. I never received the card because he had the wrong address. She wanted to make sure she had the correct address so she could forward it on to our father.  He wants to resend the card. I was so pleased. I think I'm going to send him a Father's Day card too. This is a good sign.

Dear Dad,

A few weeks ago my youngest daughter and I went hiking on a new trail in the area where we live. It was a rough trail; with rock ledges, bridges, tree roots to climb over and fallen trees to climb under. This trail had it all! The first time on this trail we did not make it to the end because we noticed our little dog was peeing blood. We immediately turned around and took him to the vet. We found out he had a bladder infection. The vet put him on an antibiotic for two-weeks. That little boy never cried or whined once, he just sat by the door constantly. We thought there was a dog in heat and that was the reason he wanted to go outside so frequently. I felt so bad when I realized it wasn’t a dog in heat, it was the UTI. Goodness!

My youngest two just had their birthdays in April. My youngest turned 17. She is what I call a free-spirit. She is determined to do her own thing her way. I think I was the same way. My son is headed to a dude ranch in a couple of weeks where he will spend the summer. He is extremely happy to have the opportunity. I’m going to miss him. He has always been my right hand. I didn’t think I would survive my oldest leaving we were very close but I still had two at home so it was a little easier. The older my kids get the more I realize I really like having them home. I do not want any of them to leave. I know they have to grow up but it seems the time flew by so fast Dad. There are times I wish they were still little again.

Times change though…on the brighter side, I was recently approved for a mortgage loan. It will be nice to have a place of our own. I would like to have enough property I can have a garden and some chickens. Gayle has inspired me to have a few animals so I thought I would start out with chickens since I love to bake. There is something about fresh eggs. I use to buy raw milk all the time but my kids weren’t very fond of it. It’s so much better than the milk we buy in the store, but my kids didn’t like the taste. I couldn’t drink it fast enough so it would always spoil. I remember us drinking raw milk when I was little. Now that was the best milk.

With so much going on, I still managed to get my garden planted a few weeks ago. It’s just the basics; a few tomatoes, some cucumbers, squash, a bell pepper and some carrots for Sammy Jo. I love fresh vegetables; it ranks right up there with the fresh eggs and milk. I will keep you updated on my garden; maybe send a picture or two. Until next time, I hope this letter finds you in good health. I will write again in a few weeks.

Take care,