Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Summertime Blues

The end of May my mother and I drove my son to a resort ranch where he would spend the next three months as one of the ranch hands. We had spend spent the weeks prior buying all the items he would need to get him through the summer months. This was his "official" first time away from home. I'm not counting all those times he spent with his grandmother because she was the next best thing to me (maybe even more). We held each other a good long time as we said good bye. I held every tear inside so he would be strong too. What's three months anyway?
Little did I realize just how hard it was going to be on me. The first week I did nothing more than mope around trying not to notice how quiet it was. I actually missed the loudness that comes with boys. I kept myself busy with my yoga class and garden. I realized quickly how much I depended on my son when no one was there to run my endless errands for me. I had to start coordinating my time better at work and at home to take care of things I had my son doing for me. The very first Sunday I called to see how he was doing, he told me to send up his electric blanket, the hunting quilt I made him and a space heater. I boxed everything up, then my mother took it all over to the ranches main office in Salt Lake. He told us later that it had snowed the first week he was there. The temperature drops down to 40 degrees every night so it can get pretty chilly there.

We wrote letters back and forth all summer, mostly me though. He was pretty busy, plus he only got a day and a half off, but then he was living the "cowboy dream" so I guess that made all the hard work worth it. One Saturday I received a phone call from him telling me he was in Heber and would I mind bringing him some supplies. I dropped everything, picked up what he needed then headed up the canyon. It was wonderful to see him. He was with all the boys from the ranch so I got to meet each one. They all seemed like a good group of kids that even got along well. I was so glad my son had made friends with these boys. He had even lost some weight in a just a few weeks.

As the weeks went by it got easier for me. Not that I liked it but little by little I was coming to terms with the fact one day I would be alone. My kids will move away, get married and have families of their own. I am convinced we should live like the Amish and all be together which my kids agree but, when I say live together they are talking about years from now. I want us to live together now, like no one leaves the nest so-to-speak. No one liked my idea, so I decided it was time to step up the house hunting. This way I could move my mother in with me. I knew my kids were growing up but I also knew my mother needed help and to be quite honest I needed someone to need me. I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that my kids "want" to move out and be on their own. For some reason I thought they would always stay little and be with me. Did I mention how much I HATE getting old. Kids grow up, then they move away.

My son came home several times during the summer on the weekends. It was always a delight to have him home. One week I made banana bread and my famous chocolate cake. I drove over to the ranch's main office and dropped it off. I got a letter shortly thereafter telling me I had out done myself again as all the boys loved my cake. He saved the banana bread for him.
One of the last weekends my son came home he found a truck and bought it. I'm not quite sure he knew what was in store for him as it has no brakes. The truck needs some TLC but he's determined to fix it up all on his own. That was his goal to save up money from his summer job and buy himself a truck. As for me, I watched my son grow up this summer. I think he will always be a kid at heart but he left home a boy and returned a man. I couldn't be more proud.